What to do with my Ringtone?

Dear Grandma Alice,
My ringtone on my phone is the theme music from popular American Sitcom, Two and a Half Men, starring Charlie Sheen.
As you may well know, the lyrics to this outstanding a capella tune, consists only of the word 'Men', (although now i think of it, it also includes the occasional 'manly', for good measure). I love dat tune, MAN.
The thing is, whenever i am filling in an application form, for a job, say, or perhaps for a dating website, i tick the box marked 'LESBIAN' when it asks my sexual preference. I am a woman also, thus proving this is not just a jape by a horny man. Anyway, people phone me, hear my ringtone, and then assume i am straight. This is because of all the 'Men, men, men, men, manly, men, men' in the tune. But i am lesbian though, a raging lesbian, i totally love pussy, as much as the 'men' in the theme tune. So anyway, what shall i do?
From
Confused Lady Lover

*************************************************

Dear Confused Lady Lover
May I start by suggesting that you spell 'that' as 'that' and not 'dat'.
There is a simple solution to your problem: change your ringtone. For example, you could have it as the theme tune to equally popular American TV Sitcom 'The Big Bang Theory', I have heard that is wildly enjoyed by people in the lesbian, gay and bi community.
However, if you want a ringtone that when people hear it they think 'that girl is deffo a dyke' then I'd strongly suggest you use 'All The Things She Said' by TaTu. Not only are the girls notorious lesbians, but they kiss in the video for this song. On top of this, they performed on a popular children's TV programme, and the skinnier one wore a white top with no bra and you could see her coffee-stains. If you want that confirmation when people see you and hear your phone ring, they then know you as a lesbian, I hope you will take my advice.
I hope this helps!
Grandma Alice